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Glorifying alcohol? OMG!
My Fellow Inebriates, After watching a video today my mum commented today that I’ve been glorifying a substance the Lancet identifies as a harmful drug, causing more deaths per year than all street...
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SHOOFLY SHIRAZ (2010)—Call that koala off!
My Fellow Inebriates, Today the whole family’s out looking at our new headquarters, so naturally I’m wondering what I can get up to. But without thumbs it’s hard to get up to much. My fur hurts. And...
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Happy Tesla Day!
My dad has a total boner for Nikola Tesla. I always wondered why, and then I read about him in The Oatmeal: Click this pic to get hilariously schooled on why Tesla rocked and Edison was a douchebag....
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Why lemon gin won’t quench your thirst (YOUR thirst)
How many of you are furry all over? If your ass looks like this in a thong, today’s heat probably felt at least 10° higher than actual temperature. I love summer, but not because it’s hot. I love the...
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The pre-apocalypse gin shoot-out!
I can’t remember where I found this poll. Oops. If I thought my friend Scarybear was in the minority for thinking that we’re nearing the End of Days, well, perhaps I was right, but it’s not a small...
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Another breakfast of champions
Just a friendly reminder that drinking can get ugly. Yes, those are knives behind me. The vulnerability of it!
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What a liquor cabinet’s NOT supposed to look like
Friends, this is our so-called liquor cabinet. Look at it. Goofy wine charms, but is there wine? Nooo. Big-ass wine bottle opener, sure, but is there wine? Holy crap, no. They’re storing instant hot...
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Does vodka soften your poo?
My Fellow Inebriates, I don’t fancy myself an advice columnist, but I get the occasional intriguing question. In my search terms this week: “Does vodka soften your poo?” I could just embarrass myself...
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My Christmas ham is spam
My Fellow Inebriates, ‘Tis the season for manger scenes. I haven’t posted one since last year, but a friendly spammer visited to tell me she’d seen one featuring liquor bottles. And get this—the whole...
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The long-awaited gin shoot-out Part Deux!
My Fellow Inebriates, Proving that Dry Weekdays are one of my mother’s worst ideas ever, Saturday’s Pre–Mother’s Day Gin Shoot-out quickly escalated (devolved?) into the kind of unbridled debauchery...
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Hair of the Bear
8:00 a.m. today Me: “Clearly, it’s time for the hair of the bear.” My dad: “I can’t think of anything I want in my mouth less.”
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COPPER MOON PINOT GRIGIO—Good enough to drink
I almost winked out of existence yesterday. My parents had neglected to renew my domain name. In the face of I-don’t-know-how-many renewal notices from WordPress, they were vacillating about whether I...
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FEENEY’S IRISH CREAM—For breakfast, while being watched
My fellow inebriates, I promised you a sob story revealing why my typists (aka Mum and Dad) have left me to twiddle my thumbless paws for over a year now while my blog wallows in the lowest reader...
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Lagavulin 8 Year Old—Destroyed by Cocoa the Gerbil
OMG, my fellow inebriates. I glanced at the gerbil tank (which I rarely do because I’m terrified of the gerbils’ ability to chew and shred). And what did I see? It was Cocoa the Gerbil, villainously...
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The freaky turtle that’s even more endangered than Latitude 50 White at our...
My fellow inebriates, LBHQ has always been a perilous place. Look at the way Glen Bear just vanished one day. Look at what a bully Scarybear is (although he’s mellowing with age). Look at these...
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3 reasons NOT to make hand sanitizer with vodka
My fellow inebriates, It’s come to my attention that people are using vodka to make hand sanitizer. This appalling waste of good liquor has prompted me to end my hiatus and tackle some rampant myths....
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